Heyyooo . I just realized how long i haven’t been updating this space omgg . Its been like exactly 4 months ? Okay that’s it I’m freaking amazing HAHAHAH . Simple update about current on goings ! And poly life and things like that . Still contemplating if i should actually delete this space . Mehh . Hmm to start off , O-levels results bah . Okay , here it comes ! Dang dang dang dang ! L1R5 of 15 (RAW) and L1R4 of 12 (RAW) . Hence this leads to a score of 13 and 10 respectively . I wont say i did extremely well but i can say i did decent . Am i disappointed ? Maybe . I studied so hard all the while before Os , really hoping for a better results though . But sigh . Sometimes , its fate that you’re stupid . And its pretty obvious that i understand that i am one like that . Am i dishearten ? Maybe. After all , i really place in a lot of hard work and maybe my best isn’t good enough . It always happens . Always . Which leads me to my next point . Ngee Ann Polytechnic . I guess so bad but i wont say that it is really good as well . Its like , people you meet in poly is very very different from who you meet in secondary school . Its a little like how everyone isn’t as simple as they are and they are just , different . I don’t know how i should go about describing this as well because as you know , i suck at describing things absolutely . I’m glad to have met my own set of people , my wonderfully beloved creams .What got me thinking and sad and emotional was this thing : Everyone has someone that they are absolutely close to, like their new best friends maybe . What about me . Am i not sociable enough or not outspoken enough ? I really have no idea to be honest . My best isn’t good enough ? Maybe . I smile and laugh everyday , all the time . But then again i am not really happy after all . So much anxiety fills my head . It really scares the hell out of me how much i am thinking when i am quiet .When i’m quiet i’m quiet . I run to my phone to act like i’m occupied but the world knows my phone cant work . Sigh . I’m actually so afraid how i can’t make friends even when April comes . I really don’t know how to survive . Sigh . Last Tuesday when i’m all alone and quiet by the back , can i safely say that only Elnathan noticed ? He came up to me asking me why am i so quiet . Oh dear me , what can i say . Tell him how i feel alone . How i have no one to go with ? All i said was , nah , ShuLi has her company , Apple and Suhui has theirs too , no one speak to me , so i don’t talk lorh . Not the best thing i should have said and i feel dumb . What can i do ? Maybe i can’t and won’t fit in . And this is bad and worrying :( I need a company , but who . Sigh . Life isn’t that simple anymore . When you can only rely on yourself , it gets very tough to be honest . Okay , this is getting very emotional and i’m feeling sadder and sadder as i type on . This is bad . It’s valentine’s days today . Go happy fro Jiahui since she has a valentine after so long . Really hope she is happy and will always be happy . I can’t say much about myself but i guess i can only hope . Happy Valentine’s to everyone’s out there :) I hope when i update this site next year , i’d have a valentine . Till the next time . Até ao próximo momento 14 Febuary 2014 . 1 am in the morning .